WHY DO WE HAVE THIS HUGE NEED TO FEEL UNDERSTOOD? AND WHY DOES IT START TO MATTER LESS AS WE GROW OLDER?
Is it perhaps because, once we begin to understand ourselves, we no longer care whether others do? But is it even possible to fully understand ourselves, if—as human beings—we are in constant evolution and change?
Maybe we simply become better at understanding ourselves more quickly, and for that reason we feel less misunderstood. Or maybe we simply stop caring about being understood and move on. Or perhaps, when life confronts us with other problems, insecurities, and fears—those that come with the responsibilities and the pressures of adulthood—feeling misunderstood becomes secondary and stops mattering as much. And maybe it also depends on what our brain considers the biggest or most urgent problem at that moment.
But why do we feel so misunderstood?
Since we are children, most of the time we are taught—often unintentionally—a certain way of thinking and a specific idea of many things. We are told how the world works, but we are not encouraged to reflect and think in order to discover it ourselves. No one asks us: And you, what do you think? So we are not encouraged to question what we are told, and many times we don’t realize that that way of thinking is not universal, but an opinion—personal and subjective. Perhaps this is why some people struggle to feel understood. Not because they have managed to detach themselves from the opinion presented as a universal fact, but because they have managed to form one of their own (which may even be the same as the imposed one; the difference lies in reflecting and deciding what one thinks). However, if someone happens to be surrounded by people whose general opinion differs from their own, they may feel very misunderstood. And of course, people tend to consider the most common opinion as the valid one. Valid it may be, but no opinion (obviously regarding mostly abstract concepts—opinions about scientific facts are not opinions, but facts) can ever be universally valid, no matter how common it is.
06/2026 NIMA
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